Day 20: Sarria - Portomarin

Day in one word: new

It's a strange word to have pop up over and over on day 20, four days from the end. Today I took a picture next to the 100 km marker and started watching the numbers get smaller and smaller (down to 88 today). But the word "new" was petty persistent in my thoughts, in the weird way the Galician earth sparkled in the rain. There are tons of new people who started the camino today since Sarria is the last major city you can start from and still earn a Compostela (the certificate of completion, basically an indulgence if you're Catholic. I can't wait to show my 8th graders mine). Several of the other "oldies" made faces and outright said how they didn't like all these newbies whose feet don't hurt and who fly down the path and take all the good beds. However, I found their enthusiasm refreshing. There is something about watching someone starting something new for them that re-inspires me to love again what I loved at first.

The big new thing in my life is that I've been adopted into a camino family, and it hasn't been easy or as fun, to be honest. Remember the one I followed in the awful rain? Victor (Mexico) and Ana (Spain) basically function like the mom and dad, Valentina (Italy) is practically the first-born daughter, followed by the three sons Jesus-Marie, Nacho, and Fernando (all Spain). I laughed a lot today when Nacho and Fernando sang Jesus-Marie awake. Gyeong-Sun (Korea) and I are the two slight oddballs because the others need to translate into English for us all the time, but Gyeong-Sun is a core member, and it's clear the others love her. I still feel extremely awkward, not understanding every conversation, not being a part of decisions but being included, and feeling as if maybe I forced myself onto them. I keep battling the emotions of not quite belonging and the thoughts of maybe they don't really want me - even though they haven't done or said anything to support those doubts. In fact, quite the opposite with the hugs and cheek kisses and inclusion. Where are my questions coming from?

I've decided it's really hard to be new. I wonder if this is a little what adopted children might feel as they try to navigate life in a new family, trying to learn the inside jokes and so forth. I wonder if that is how new people in God's family feel like. The impression I am left with today is wondering how well I do at welcoming them into the family? Do I dole out hugs like Ana, smile a lot like Nacho, buy gifts like Gyeong-Sun, cook like Jesus-Marie, plan routes and hostels like Victor, take car of laundry like Valentina, or just be present like Fernando? What is my contribution?