White Space

Time for a serious reflection. My 12-hour train ride to the south of France begins in just over 24 hours. Most mornings now, I'm waking up with one word on my mind ("Camino") and my heart racing. All my prayers are centering on the forthcoming trip, the mix of anticipation of all that will be good and fear of all that might go wrong.

In the midst of these turbulent emotions, a friend recently spoke some wise words that have brought some of my spiritual expectations for this adventure into greater focus. She spoke about creating "white space" in one's life, of having down time with no plans in it. If all this time becomes is a chance to rest without any pressure, then so be it. But who knows what God might choose to write on the blank slate if we have it and present it to him.

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One thing that has excited me from the beginning about this three-week long trek is that my daily responsibilities really do dwindle down to one single, daily job: to walk. If that's the only task I wake up to every day, compared to the past 9 months (or even 6 years), it is pretty uncomplicated. Such a single-minded occupation will certainly leave a lot of white space in my day.

So what do I want to have happen with this empty canvas? I want to see God to paint all over it; to show me wonders in nature, history, his Word, even himself. I desire for him to draw out truth and beauty that astound me anew. I hope to watch him sign his name over and over again until I'm confident and certain of the author of this adventure. May I fall in love with him all over again.

Packing Help!

Please look at this picture above. I've spent the past couple of hours collecting the items I'm planning on packing. Included are 2 pairs of (zip-off) pants for hiking, 2 shirts for hiking, 1 change of clothes for evenings, 1 fleece, 6-7 pairs of socks (those are ALL necessary), 3 pairs underwear, 2 bras, 1 towel, sleeping bag, rain poncho, sandals for evenings, guide book, passport, laundry detergent, sun block, ibuprofen, soap, shampoo, lotion, hairbrush, toothbrush, moleskin, chapstick, cleenex, and 3 waterproof bags.

Things not pictured but that I've remembered since (or that were too big/dirty for my bed): hiking boots, walking poles, sunglasses, water bottle, nylon day bag, and phone plus charger.

Here are my two questions to you:
1. What am I forgetting?
2. What should I definitely NOT take? (Don't say the phone or the many socks. They're both coming.)

No Bugs!

Every day I'm trying to complete at least one thing in preparation for the Camino, preferably more than that. Yesterday my victory was a purchased train ticket through France (with the help of sweet Anna). Today my project was to bug-proof my sleeping bag with this stuff:

I'll have to let you know how well it works down the road.

Prep Hike

I hiked this mountain

with these kids:

Good prep for keeping others going when they wanted to quit. Hopefully that skill will translate into speaking to my own body when the time comes. Hopefully my body will obey.

Adventurous Night

Last night some of my girlfriends and I took a hike and slept out under the stars. It allowed me to try out my little backpack and sleeping bag, plus it was some fabulous girl time with people I won't see for a long time. We fell asleep under the stars ... and awoke around 4:30 am under an ARMY OF HORNETS! Not even kidding. I wrapped myself up even tighter into my sleeping bag and tried to fall back asleep, but in my extremely tense state, that just wasn't happening. The six of us kept looking around at each other and up at the flying beasts. Finally, I cracked. I jumped up into the mass of hornets, slid my feet into my boots (on top of my glasses and flashlight), scooped up my mat and sleeping bag, and ran off to another field. The others followed shortly.

That'd better not happen on the Camino.

Mental Toughness

I'm in a cycle right now: in the mornings and early afternoons, when I think of my upcoming journey, I feel excitement and anticipation. I look at maps and pictures and imagine all kinds of great times I'm going to have. As the day wears on, however, I recall that there will be difficulties. I dread the heat, and I worry about my feet (since they have never really my allies in life). By the time I go to bed, the thoughts that plague me are "How did I ever think I could do this? I'm crazy!"

While I've been preparing physically and logistically with tickets and bag selections and final Amazon purchases (my new dri-fit socks arrived yesterday), I'm beginning to realize that so much of this adventure is going to be mental. It's going to require a perseverance that goes beyond the physical, a leaning into God when challenges arrive that I just couldn't plan for. And that's good. It's all part of the experience - at least that's what others tell me. I guess for now, I need to start engaging that mental toughness to not psych myself out. Two weeks from tomorrow I begin walking!

Memorization project

I am horrible at memorization. Seriously. Always have been and always will be. So when it comes to memorizing large chunks of Scripture, I can manage to meet a deadline, and I'll practice over and over, adding hand motions, memory associations, singsongy melodies, and anything else I can think of. Still, two weeks later: poof. It's all gone from my mind.

But I know there is value in storing God's Word in mind and heart, and I have decided that walking for 6 hours a day over the course of 3 weeks will afford me some perfect time to really hone in on a chunk of Scripture. Maybe the repetition of many days will add something new I've never tried before. My plan is to print out verses or sections on ring cards to carry in a pocket with me.

I have a few passages in mind that I either enjoy or have some kind of connection to, but do you have any suggestions? Favorite chapters? I'm open to ideas!